Been a shit hole living in this world, it truly is. Had to make myself busy and try to keep the memories alive, so I did what I know - create a trading outlet. Over the course of past month I've met 5 people to date. One of the became a friend and my guardian, others .. well I don't know them that well since I only spoke to them briefly. They appear to be nice, but trustworthy? Nah. I've been managing a retail store I owned back in the days, and the thing I learned is that...you can never really trust anyone but yourself. Perhaps they'll prove me wrong in time, but for now I only "trust" Nick. Anyways, I'll try to make some radio announcements in days to come that I've opened it, hopefully it will attract more people and will start to feel not so alone anymore.
I am but a girl. My parents gave me an aboriginal name meaning "girl", but who cares anymore. I came here after the camp in Chernarus. We all did, there was nothing left there, the wells were infected, the dead ones were taking over, we ran out of canned food, there were less and less animals. I don't know why I came here, I don't know why I keep going. I have no one I'm really looking for, no one to get back to. I feel lost, have no purpose. At least no real purpose. For now I'm helping the reverend get set up, but this is coming to an end soon. He seems good, he is not like the people from my past. He is human, doesn't pretend to be "holier than thou". But there's my past. I'm conflicted. All they've ever done for me was make me feel like I'm worth nothing. The name and signs of Him were everywhere, but I didn't feel spirited or wanted by Him, because those transporting the words of Him were painting a dire picture. For all of us, but I was never important. I looked out for my brothers and sisters, did what I did to give them a glimmer of hope and a smile on their faces was my reward. It was worth the punishment. "Common thief" they labelled me. Back in that place all they said was that this was clear, I was always different to the others, born in the "wrong" skin. When I was 18 they kicked me out. But I still had my brothers and sisters back there, I kept looking out for them. It was getting tougher and eventually the police realized who was behind all of the happenings. The judge sent me to a "rehab" camp in Chernarus. With all the other young offenders. Drug addicts, thieves, wannabe gang kids. We were supposed to work on a farm to get back into society doing hard work, keeping us from doing bad things. It was a veritable shit show. I look at Rachel and see the label they gave me. The true label. She enjoys it. I look at Jack and see a man that changes. Promises that are broken for his "needs". I saw Lucas kill himself, I saw what it caused in others. I think we deserved all of this. We still do. We think we're survivors, but we're just bloody resilient cockroaches. I have no hope for us.